There are many ways that depression affects people, but one of the most common is that people tend to withdraw from friendships, family relationships, events and even conversations with others. This kind of withdrawal is often an attempt to protect oneself from emotional or mental stress, but in some cases it can lead to a cycle of worsening depression.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is an effective tool to assist individuals in understanding why they withdraw socially and what actions can be taken to slowly break the pattern. One of the primary components of CBT is that our thoughts, feelings, and actions are all related to one another. When a person’s depression affects their thoughts, it will also impact their behaviour around others.
For example, a person who has depression may begin to think, “No one wants to speak to me,” “I’m going to bring the whole conversation down,” “It would be easier for me to remain at home.” These types of negative thoughts lead to negative feelings of sadness, anxiety, guilt, and hopelessness, which ultimately lead to a person avoiding social situations altogether.
Social Isolation Increases Your Overall Anxiety
Social withdrawal sometimes gives a person some short-term relief; however, remaining home alone may not only increase the person’s anxiety; it will also create a greater sense of loneliness and isolation for that individual, which causes them to lose the connection with other human beings. This loss reinforces a person’s negative belief system towards themselves and the world around them.
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) helps individuals look at their automatic thoughts about their experiences instead of accepting those automatic thoughts to be true. For example, if a person believes that they cannot find anyone to spend time with them, CBT recommends that the individual look at their evidence to support that belief. Did other people really reject that individual, or does the individual have an assumption about what others think of him/her based on how they have felt? People who are depressed generally interpret situations as worse than they actually exist.
Another concept that is important to CBT is that mood and behaviour affect each other; and many individuals believe that they must feel better before reintegrating with society. CBT states that by performing small behaviours first will improve your mood over time.
How CBT Aids In Recovery
Behavioural activation is based on the idea that rather than waiting until you have the motivation to do something, you can choose to participate in activities that promote your wellness through behaviour (e.g., socially withdrawing).
For example, when you are socially withdrawn, you can send a text message or call someone briefly to talk or meet up for a cup of coffee with a friend. These kinds of activities may be uncomfortable at first but challenge the notion that isolating yourself is the only thing available to you.
In addition, CBT helps people develop realistic expectations of what they can expect from their social relationships. Rebuilding social connections does not mean you will become very social by tomorrow. By having small, manageable social interactions (e.g., two or three times per week), you will have many positive experiences and evidence that social connection is possible, even though depression tells you that is not true.
Consistently, one of the most important concepts of CBT is that your feelings about depression and social withdrawal are not good indicators of what to do next. When you are feeling depressed, you may want to isolate; however, following through on isolating yourself increases the problem. Through gradually challenging your negative thoughts and facing your fears of social interaction, you will break the cycle of withdrawal and create opportunities for a positive mood, stronger relationships, and better emotional well-being.
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