Every now and then, you may have taken your time during your decision-making whether it be deciding to send an email, applying for a job, or deciding what you are going to do over the weekend. If this has happened to you; you are not alone. Decision paralysis occurs when we find ourselves caught in an endless cycle of overthinking and worrying about what will happen after our decision has been made, which hinders us from moving forward with any one option.
Frustration typically accompanies decision paralysis because we are already aware that we need to make a decision but we feel stuck in the middle. Instead of continuing towards a conclusion; we remain stagnant, constantly weighing different options, looking at different outcomes and worrying about making the “right” choice. Ultimately, the result is a build-up of anxiety, stress and wanting to move forward in life but feeling that we do not have the ability to.
This is where Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can be particularly helpful
behavioural therapy (CBT) posits a strong interrelationship between our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. A lot of awareness is being given to this idea lately and now there are more people than ever before who are looking into how CBT relates to feeling “stuck” when making decisions.
An example of someone with decision paralysis might be an individual who feels stressed out because they don’t know whether to select Choice A or Choice B; he or she might have thoughts such as: “What if I select the wrong option?” or “I can’t select until I’m completely certain.” These inferred beliefs, when coupled with anxiety from believing there are consequences, can overwhelm.
As a result, the longer a person delays making a choice, the more pressure is placed on their ability to finally make that choice. CBT is one therapeutic approach that helps individuals identify erroneous thoughts around their choices. One way it does this is by teaching the individual to look at their thoughts, not as established facts but rather as something that can be evaluated according to whether or not those thoughts are helpful and/or realistic in making an informed decision.
One common thought pattern associated with decision paralysis is perfectionism. Oftentimes people believe they have to make the perfect decision every time they are faced with choosing between two options (or several!). People view the small, hypothetical risk of choosing either A or B may lead to irreparable damage to their lives down the road, when in actuality most decisions are not permanent or nearly as high risk as one thinks.
CBT challenges this misconception by helping people to consider the facts. You need to ask yourself, is there really a perfect solution to this problem? In actuality, in any given situation there are often multiple reasonable alternatives to choose from, some of which may be better than others for different reasons. Aim for a satisfactory solution, rather than a perfect one and then continue from there.
Another way of thinking that can cause decision paralysis is called catastrophising. When you catastrophise, you assume the worst possible scenario will occur if you make the wrong decision, and that your choice will lead to embarrassment, failure or regret.
CBT encourages you to slow down and evaluate your assumptions. Rather than analysing what the worst case scenario might be, try to determine what the most likely outcome will be instead. If you were to not achieve your objective as desired, how would you handle the situation? Most people discover that they are more capable of getting over bumps in the road than they originally thought.
The need for certainty is also a contributing factor to decision paralysis. Most of us are looking for assurances before we initiate any particular action. Unfortunately, rarely does life allow us to be certain of anything. When you wait until you have 100% assurance before you act, chances are you will be waiting forever.
Lessons from CBT therapy
CBT teaches us an important lesson: uncertainty is part of life. Rather than attempting to eliminate uncertainty from your life, you can learn to live with it. This can be a huge relief because it frees you to make decisions based on the information you have rather than waiting for the impossible to be sure about your decision.
If you want to use CBT to combat decision paralysis, start by becoming aware of your thoughts when you are struggling with making a decision. Notice what you say to yourself. Are you assuming the worst? Do you need to have certainty? Are you putting too much pressure on yourself to make the “right” choice? Once you have identified those thoughts, you can challenge them. Look at whether they are based on fact or fear. Think about what you would tell a friend who is going through the same situation. We are usually far more kind and level-headed telling others how to decide than we are to ourselves.
In conclusion
Remembering that clarity can often come from action can be helpful for those who believe they need to feel confident to make a decision. In actuality, confidence develops from action, so when you make a decision, it becomes proof that you can manage the unknown and be flexible with whatever happens in your life after that.
So, the next time you feel stuck with multiple choices, keep in mind that the goal is not to pick the “right” choice, but rather to make a conscious decision and trust that you will be able to deal with anything that happens from that point forward.
While it may seem challenging to experience decision paralysis, it can just as easily be overcome by learning how to identify irrational thought patterns, question unrealistic beliefs, and grow comfortable with ambiguity.
CBT offers many practical techniques to help you develop the skill and confidence needed to make purposeful decisions. Ultimately, you may find that many of the decisions you used to spend hours ruminating over can now be resolved in mere seconds. Therefore, you will have much less time for contemplation and will have much more time to continue forward.
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